I suspect that if Ms. Griggs had responded appropriately to illadore, as you say: quickly, apologetically, respectfully, this probably wouldn't have gone south so quickly. But there was also a factor outside Ms. Griggs' control: illadore is on nihilistic_kid's flist. And Nick is smart, mouthy, knows from internet/copyright issues, and damned near everyone in SFdom reads him (even the ones who hate him).

So while it's possible this could have been avoided, it was just Ms. Griggs' bad luck to come to the notice of someone with a damned big bullhorn and a legendary intolerance for stupidity on the internet. Well, that and her stupidity in behaving appallingly unprofessionally to someone in a position of moral authority over her.

That said, eventually this would all have come out: someone was sure to notice. But it might not have been this bad (for Griggs) if it weren't Illadore she abused.