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ursamajori mean, i was raised catholic. believed up until age nine or so that there really was this coupla-thousand-year-old bearded guy watching me to make sure i didn't give my broccoli to the dog, counting my sins up on a slate ready to strike me down if i didn't confess everything to the priest. and then my mom broke with the catholic church, and she and my cheerfully secular dad put my brother and i into private school; that was that, and i was quite relieved. i dabbled with wicca, debated UU, and then i went out to the woods every summer for eleven years with a hundred-odd kids from all walks of life, and from that month came back more optimistic and spiritually fulfilled than i ever did going to church.
(yes, this was a ymca camp. please, however, keep in mind it was based out of berkeley. the berkeley-albany ymca is about as inclusive a spiritual organization as you'll find anywhere. we did arts and crafts and went hiking and kayaking and swimming in the river and played field games and went on nature walks and made up skits and sang camp songs around the campfire at night and did everything else you'd expect at a typical nonprofit summer residence camp. what made it different and what had its most lasting effects on me was built into our morning activities - every morning, after breakfast, we'd hike halfway up the hill to the wooded amphitheatre, and we'd sit and listen to nature for about 15 minutes. and i always looked forward to this time to reflect quietly before jumping into the busyness of camp life, framing my days with spiritual thought in the morning and harmonizing in the evening. i mean, for an ostensibly "christian" camp, about 1/4 of the kids were jewish, another chunk grew up in pagan families, and the remaining half were a mix of other religious traditions, and kids with no real concept of religion at all. but we all sat quietly and appreciated the beauty of the woods we were in, our summer home-away-from-home.)
(i did spend part of one summer at the camp most of my catholic school peers went to, before my parents discovered to their utter horror that we had little belt-clips of bible verses attached to us at all times, and in between various camp activities, we had to memorize said bible verses. i got yanked out of there so fast i'm sure the verse-cards are still burning, and i spent the rest of that summer back in music camp. but yeah, tangent. point being, i don't fit in with any organized religion, nor do i have a particular desire to. i sing christmas carols because they're a large part of my childhood - people singing to celebrate winter; people being of good cheer *right around my birthday*, i can't possibly overemphasize how much that affected my mindset - feeding my love of music and harmony and good food. lights on trees and candles in hand forcing back the darkness; cold wind guttering and an acolyte relighting my windblown taper. baruch ata adonai, eloheinu melech haolam, asher kidshanu b'mitzvotav vitzivanu l'hadlich neir shel chanukah lighting the candles chez elana with dreidels and chocolate gelt, solstice celebrations in the woods and kwanzaa dinners at one of my teacher's houses. it all sounds so superficial, all these holidays blending, and i can't possibly communicate how spiritual these events were; how right it is that we all reached out and shared these things with our friends who had different traditions. each of them brought us together to celebrate our bonds of friendship and our common desire for peace and light in the world, and that, to me, is the most important part. i've tried to explain this many times to many people, that for every rooftop with a twelve-foot lightup reindeer on it and a dancing nativity scene that rivals a las vegas production, trumpeting secular excesses, there are people quietly sharing their traditions and hoping for understanding; for every mall staying open until midnight december 24, there are simple prayers for peace and prosperity in the world.)
i still believe there's a higher power up there that set this all in motion, but that it's our responsibility to maintain it for future generations. let us have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and the cattle - and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth; let us replenish the earth.
do i think kerry's the savior of the known world? no. am i entirely happy voting for him? no; he's alarmingly conservative for a happy berkeley-bred liberal like myself. am i still strongly tempted to write howard dean in on my ballot? god yes.
do i feel like i'm a bit motivated by the politics of fear? the idea of four more years of george bush's brand of politics scares the living daylight out of me; kerry isn't ideal, but based on his record and his policies, i believe he'll counter a decent amount of the damage bush did - at least, enough to ensure that i can bring children into this world at some point in the next decade without fearing they'll never get the chance to grow up. you can (and must) have common morals in politics, while guarding against any one religion dominating.
ironically, never have i felt more like praying than today. hoping against hope that the american people return to the separation of church and state, letting religion be the matter of the heart that it should be, while choosing someone to lead us who will not further erode the state of the environment or engage in more and more egregious abuse of our civil rights. i don't want to believe that it's necessary for a higher, godtype power to intervene to save us from ourselves. but i am scared.
i'll be in copley square tonight for rehearsal (yeah, good planning guys, trying to hold rehearsal in the middle of the madness?!), and thus not making it to any of the various election parties at my friends' houses. but that's probably a good thing - four hours where the only thing on my mind will be:
let there be LIGHTS in the firmament of the HEAVENS to divide the DAY from the NIGHT, and let them be for SIGNS and for SEASONS and for DAYS and YEARS; let there be LIGHTS in the firmament of the HEAVENS to give LIGHT upon the EARTH.
music and nature; the twin bases of my spirituality. what inspires my optimism, my hope.
and now, i'm off; to cast my vote and then to send out my resume another 500 times, and hoping beyond hope that both of these bear the fruit i need. (and also hoping that we actually know who our president for the next four years is before my birthday.) and if it doesn't work out,well, it must be time to buy that tropical island hey, i didn't say i was moving to canada, did i? ;)
(yes, this was a ymca camp. please, however, keep in mind it was based out of berkeley. the berkeley-albany ymca is about as inclusive a spiritual organization as you'll find anywhere. we did arts and crafts and went hiking and kayaking and swimming in the river and played field games and went on nature walks and made up skits and sang camp songs around the campfire at night and did everything else you'd expect at a typical nonprofit summer residence camp. what made it different and what had its most lasting effects on me was built into our morning activities - every morning, after breakfast, we'd hike halfway up the hill to the wooded amphitheatre, and we'd sit and listen to nature for about 15 minutes. and i always looked forward to this time to reflect quietly before jumping into the busyness of camp life, framing my days with spiritual thought in the morning and harmonizing in the evening. i mean, for an ostensibly "christian" camp, about 1/4 of the kids were jewish, another chunk grew up in pagan families, and the remaining half were a mix of other religious traditions, and kids with no real concept of religion at all. but we all sat quietly and appreciated the beauty of the woods we were in, our summer home-away-from-home.)
(i did spend part of one summer at the camp most of my catholic school peers went to, before my parents discovered to their utter horror that we had little belt-clips of bible verses attached to us at all times, and in between various camp activities, we had to memorize said bible verses. i got yanked out of there so fast i'm sure the verse-cards are still burning, and i spent the rest of that summer back in music camp. but yeah, tangent. point being, i don't fit in with any organized religion, nor do i have a particular desire to. i sing christmas carols because they're a large part of my childhood - people singing to celebrate winter; people being of good cheer *right around my birthday*, i can't possibly overemphasize how much that affected my mindset - feeding my love of music and harmony and good food. lights on trees and candles in hand forcing back the darkness; cold wind guttering and an acolyte relighting my windblown taper. baruch ata adonai, eloheinu melech haolam, asher kidshanu b'mitzvotav vitzivanu l'hadlich neir shel chanukah lighting the candles chez elana with dreidels and chocolate gelt, solstice celebrations in the woods and kwanzaa dinners at one of my teacher's houses. it all sounds so superficial, all these holidays blending, and i can't possibly communicate how spiritual these events were; how right it is that we all reached out and shared these things with our friends who had different traditions. each of them brought us together to celebrate our bonds of friendship and our common desire for peace and light in the world, and that, to me, is the most important part. i've tried to explain this many times to many people, that for every rooftop with a twelve-foot lightup reindeer on it and a dancing nativity scene that rivals a las vegas production, trumpeting secular excesses, there are people quietly sharing their traditions and hoping for understanding; for every mall staying open until midnight december 24, there are simple prayers for peace and prosperity in the world.)
i still believe there's a higher power up there that set this all in motion, but that it's our responsibility to maintain it for future generations. let us have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and the cattle - and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth; let us replenish the earth.
do i think kerry's the savior of the known world? no. am i entirely happy voting for him? no; he's alarmingly conservative for a happy berkeley-bred liberal like myself. am i still strongly tempted to write howard dean in on my ballot? god yes.
do i feel like i'm a bit motivated by the politics of fear? the idea of four more years of george bush's brand of politics scares the living daylight out of me; kerry isn't ideal, but based on his record and his policies, i believe he'll counter a decent amount of the damage bush did - at least, enough to ensure that i can bring children into this world at some point in the next decade without fearing they'll never get the chance to grow up. you can (and must) have common morals in politics, while guarding against any one religion dominating.
ironically, never have i felt more like praying than today. hoping against hope that the american people return to the separation of church and state, letting religion be the matter of the heart that it should be, while choosing someone to lead us who will not further erode the state of the environment or engage in more and more egregious abuse of our civil rights. i don't want to believe that it's necessary for a higher, godtype power to intervene to save us from ourselves. but i am scared.
i'll be in copley square tonight for rehearsal (yeah, good planning guys, trying to hold rehearsal in the middle of the madness?!), and thus not making it to any of the various election parties at my friends' houses. but that's probably a good thing - four hours where the only thing on my mind will be:
let there be LIGHTS in the firmament of the HEAVENS to divide the DAY from the NIGHT, and let them be for SIGNS and for SEASONS and for DAYS and YEARS; let there be LIGHTS in the firmament of the HEAVENS to give LIGHT upon the EARTH.
music and nature; the twin bases of my spirituality. what inspires my optimism, my hope.
and now, i'm off; to cast my vote and then to send out my resume another 500 times, and hoping beyond hope that both of these bear the fruit i need. (and also hoping that we actually know who our president for the next four years is before my birthday.) and if it doesn't work out,
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-02 06:38 (UTC)::hugs::
There are good things just around the corner, no worries!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-02 08:40 (UTC)My roommate told me about this cartoon yesterday:
http://www.ucomics.com/boondocks/2004/10/27/
And I'm with you -- I feel far more spiritually refreshed after a walk in the woods than most service I've sat through.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-02 10:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-02 15:58 (UTC)