bear

On Election Night, I went out to pick up groceries and ate an ice cream sandwich (cardamom ice cream with chocolate cookies) for dinner and then ignored the outside world as best I could. hyounpark was in San Diego for work; Elana invited me over to her friend's house, and I just couldn't with the world. I basically hibernated until Wednesday night, when I had to drag myself out for tech week for Carmina Burana.

I wore my What a Cluster! t-shirt; appreciative comments all around. Our director opened things up by leading us in Lean On Me a cappella. Reminded us that we, as artists, as musicians, were going to be called upon as "first responders to the soul." Read An Artist's Response to Violence aloud:

We loved [John F. Kennedy] for the honor in which he held art, in which he held every creative impulse of the human mind, whether it was expressed in words, or notes, or paints, or mathematical symbols. This reverence for the life of the mind was apparent even in his last speech, which he was to have made a few hours after his death. He was to have said: “America’s leadership must be guided by learning and reason.” ...Learning and Reason: the motto we here tonight must continue to uphold with redoubled tenacity, and must continue, at any price, to make the basis of all our actions. ... Our music will never again be quite the same. This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before.

And then we made music.

Afterwards, hyounpark and I walked towards the BART station, and at the light, a sedan with the windows down, passengers hanging out the windows, pulled up next to us, absolutely buh-last-ing FDT. Had a little defiant dance party on the sidewalk, a moment of community, and as the light turned green and they drove away, I felt a little better.

Lather, rinse, repeat for Thursday (honestly, tech week couldn't have been better timed for all of us in need of something to focus on and not doom-spiral over), and then Friday night concert. Someone on TikTok posted the first movement of our performance of Carmina Burana; their first time at the symphony. And they got to see a professional symphony conducted by somebody like them; see a chorus conducted by somebody like them. The classical music world has the potential to be a hell of a lot more inclusive; this is proof the efforts are worth it.

Since then, it's been reassuring to see people, commiserate, talk about next steps, what was getting us through the current moment. Even so, as I put things to try to look forward to on the calendar, it all feels so tenuous. But I've also been reminded of the value of being "900% me," as Kat put it. Showing friends the ridiculous platter of pastries we've been working our way through all week (thank you Paris Bakery, Alta Bakery, Ad Astra Bread Company, and Krispy Kreme); noghri remarking on the presence of donuts from that last iconic bakery with "you still like those?" Me: "I blame my Southern husband for continued exposure, but yes!" He, smiling, "I still remember how we met all that time ago." Me: "Yeah, my reaction made quite the impression, hahaha." So then I had to tell the other friends present the story of how I introduced myself to noghri, which is basically (seriously, I didn't manage to LJ this back then?! ugh, past self, why so coy!):

Setting: elemmire7's going away party, July 2003
Me: *perusing the snacks table, wondering what to munch on next*
*the doorbell rings*
noghri: *enters, bearing a box of Krispy Kremes, which were so new to Boston at that point they'd only recently opened up their Wellington location*
Me: *spies cute guy entering with said box of Krispy Kremes, promptly vaults across the room and lands firmly in front of him* "You brought Krispy Kremes! You're cool!"
noghri: *stares at me, a total stranger, at a loss for words*

Everybody hearing this story for the first time: "... yep, we can visualize *and* auralize exactly how this went down!"

So, yeah. Being 900% me in the topics I've posted about to Bluesky, since that seems to be where people are migrating for shorter-form conversation and staying in touch with each other at least one step further removed from the control of billionaires; so far I have talked about indie bookstores and transportation cycling and choral music. Being 900% me in digging into Thanksgiving menu planning - eyeing this pumpkin basque cheesecake, but also considering a persimmon custard tart with hojicha meringue? Kristina Cho mentioned it in her Instagram stories earlier this week; the recipe hasn't been posted yet, but it sounds right up my alley. Being 900% me in pondering, as Jackie asked us at coffee ride this week, what is my actual role in my communities now and in the future.

Because all I really have control over in the big picture is being true to myself, so.

Huh, I guess I am not very good at posting on Leap Day, historically - despite having shared my life with people online for close to three decades now, I only have one Facebook memory on a Leap Day (and not even by me at that, tagged by bitty), and zero public social media or blog posts on a Leap Day AFAICT. (Twitter and Instagram do not make it easy to navigate your archives.) So to make up for that, here's my history of Leap Days as far back as I have any kind of records and/or memories that have persisted to the present day. It will surprise nobody that what I ate made it into the record at least half the time 😁

( memory hole )

2004: It was a Sunday, and I was both performing at Carnegie Hall and meeting noghri's mother for the first time (🔒). (Both our families were meeting because my parents flew out to see me perform! In case anyone wondered why I was an utter harried mess at the time?) There was dim sum and The Lion King on Broadway as well! And then post-concert chocolate cake with mamdvany and elemmire7 and fractalspackle :)

( okay more memory hole )

So I guess that makes today my 12th Leap Day and my first fully-pandemic Leap Day, as 2020 was basically just before it all went to hell. Nothing special planned; need to do a bunch of laundry and write a newsletter and get ready for Saturday's songwriting retreat. I feel like I should hunt down some Quantum Leap and watch a good episode or something.

Any of you all doing anything special today? Have any traditions you observe for Leap Day?

fun stuff i want to do this summer:

1. waterfire
2. have a beach half-birthday party to counteract the evil birthday snow (find a good beach)
3. go see a concert or two at tanglewood. can't believe i've been out here eight years and never been yet.
4. go to a traditional clambake. (or hold one)
5. re-learn how to drive, as my license expires in december.
6. go to the singing sands beach
7. explore the cape (maybe go to provincetown?)
8. go kayaking. and maybe sailing.
9. get out of town when the DNC gets here
10. salem day trip. never been there, either.
11. spend hot lazy afternoons in the pool.
12. read at least two books a week. which really shouldn't be a problem.

any other suggestions? :)

in other news, cold got worse and throat hurt and it hurt to enunciate (just ask noghri what the hell i was saying earlier this evening, because he sure couldn't understand it *g*). but i attacked it with coldeeze (yay zinc) and vitamin c, and i'm hoping a couple of more megadoses of c and lots of water and sleep will shake this thing out early.

and, um, johnny, honey, some people look good with long hair. most people don't. especially not when they've got the full flowing beard and droopy mustache, too. it's cutting down your speed! shave it! ;P

and, yo, sox fan here, but i so agree that johnny damon needs to shave his head for charity or something. or just shave it, period.

long, long ago in a land far, far away, i was walking across the amherst town common, hand-in-hand with my brand new first-ever boyfriend. it was all still so new to me that i was bemused by the mere concept of having a boyfriend. everything was freshman-new: the people, the independence, the boyfriend, the red-leaved trees, the crisp bite of a fall breeze that suggested a coming winter far colder than any a california girl like me had ever endured before.

ensconced among our fellow freshmen, we waited for the a cappella show to start. there would be an opening group, the virginia gentlemen, but at that point i was more excited about the sabs, because i wanted to be one of them.

we sat, fingers entwined, as the gents launched into a string of peppy pop tunes. they bounced around the "stage" and flirted outrageously with the audience and sang multipart harmony and i harmonized along softly with them. and then they slowed it down with this ballad:

baby i've been searchin' like everybody else
i can't say nothin' different about myself
sometimes i'm an angel and sometimes i'm cruel
but when it comes to love i'm just another fool
oh i'll climb a mountain
i'm gonna swim the sea
there ain't no act of god, girl
could keep you 'way from me

i fell in love with them almost immediately, and their CD Seven and Seven was on repeat on my stereo for many nights after that.

mere months later said first ever boyfriend and would have a sharp, startling breakup, which would lead to a messy spring where he did many reprehensible things that ruined the song for me for a little while. but i eventually determined that i would not let him do that to me, and slowly, true companion and the other gents' songs made their way back into the rotation.

seven years later, a similarly cool fall breeze blows across the parking lot of the malden stop-n-shop. noghri and i have just picked up dinner ingredients, and we're walking back to his car, hand-in-hand, swinging bags of groceries. my gents cd has gotten scratched beyond repair, after countless trips across the country and the world, and time spent in many moving bins.

we pile into the car, and a cappella spills out of his ipod, a song i've not heard before, but his a cappella collection is much more extensive than mine, so i assume he's not switched the playlist genre back to "all rock" from "all a cappella" yet.

we're cruising up main street and i'm babbling when i pause, because i recognize the song playing now. and i'd mentioned it to him once before, maybe even on our first date, when i was playing with his ipod and asking him if he had any a cappella songs. "of course!" he responded, and the conversation went from there. he didn't have true companion, though, but i wasn't surprised because i'd been searching fruitlessly for the mp3 for years, ever since my cd broke.

but now, there it was, sitting and singing and beaming at me on his ipod.

he's good at surprises. now i have to think of a good one in turn! :)

foot.