bear

On Election Night, I went out to pick up groceries and ate an ice cream sandwich (cardamom ice cream with chocolate cookies) for dinner and then ignored the outside world as best I could. hyounpark was in San Diego for work; Elana invited me over to her friend's house, and I just couldn't with the world. I basically hibernated until Wednesday night, when I had to drag myself out for tech week for Carmina Burana.

I wore my What a Cluster! t-shirt; appreciative comments all around. Our director opened things up by leading us in Lean On Me a cappella. Reminded us that we, as artists, as musicians, were going to be called upon as "first responders to the soul." Read An Artist's Response to Violence aloud:

We loved [John F. Kennedy] for the honor in which he held art, in which he held every creative impulse of the human mind, whether it was expressed in words, or notes, or paints, or mathematical symbols. This reverence for the life of the mind was apparent even in his last speech, which he was to have made a few hours after his death. He was to have said: “America’s leadership must be guided by learning and reason.” ...Learning and Reason: the motto we here tonight must continue to uphold with redoubled tenacity, and must continue, at any price, to make the basis of all our actions. ... Our music will never again be quite the same. This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before.

And then we made music.

Afterwards, hyounpark and I walked towards the BART station, and at the light, a sedan with the windows down, passengers hanging out the windows, pulled up next to us, absolutely buh-last-ing FDT. Had a little defiant dance party on the sidewalk, a moment of community, and as the light turned green and they drove away, I felt a little better.

Lather, rinse, repeat for Thursday (honestly, tech week couldn't have been better timed for all of us in need of something to focus on and not doom-spiral over), and then Friday night concert. Someone on TikTok posted the first movement of our performance of Carmina Burana; their first time at the symphony. And they got to see a professional symphony conducted by somebody like them; see a chorus conducted by somebody like them. The classical music world has the potential to be a hell of a lot more inclusive; this is proof the efforts are worth it.

Since then, it's been reassuring to see people, commiserate, talk about next steps, what was getting us through the current moment. Even so, as I put things to try to look forward to on the calendar, it all feels so tenuous. But I've also been reminded of the value of being "900% me," as Kat put it. Showing friends the ridiculous platter of pastries we've been working our way through all week (thank you Paris Bakery, Alta Bakery, Ad Astra Bread Company, and Krispy Kreme); noghri remarking on the presence of donuts from that last iconic bakery with "you still like those?" Me: "I blame my Southern husband for continued exposure, but yes!" He, smiling, "I still remember how we met all that time ago." Me: "Yeah, my reaction made quite the impression, hahaha." So then I had to tell the other friends present the story of how I introduced myself to noghri, which is basically (seriously, I didn't manage to LJ this back then?! ugh, past self, why so coy!):

Setting: elemmire7's going away party, July 2003
Me: *perusing the snacks table, wondering what to munch on next*
*the doorbell rings*
noghri: *enters, bearing a box of Krispy Kremes, which were so new to Boston at that point they'd only recently opened up their Wellington location*
Me: *spies cute guy entering with said box of Krispy Kremes, promptly vaults across the room and lands firmly in front of him* "You brought Krispy Kremes! You're cool!"
noghri: *stares at me, a total stranger, at a loss for words*

Everybody hearing this story for the first time: "... yep, we can visualize *and* auralize exactly how this went down!"

So, yeah. Being 900% me in the topics I've posted about to Bluesky, since that seems to be where people are migrating for shorter-form conversation and staying in touch with each other at least one step further removed from the control of billionaires; so far I have talked about indie bookstores and transportation cycling and choral music. Being 900% me in digging into Thanksgiving menu planning - eyeing this pumpkin basque cheesecake, but also considering a persimmon custard tart with hojicha meringue? Kristina Cho mentioned it in her Instagram stories earlier this week; the recipe hasn't been posted yet, but it sounds right up my alley. Being 900% me in pondering, as Jackie asked us at coffee ride this week, what is my actual role in my communities now and in the future.

Because all I really have control over in the big picture is being true to myself, so.

I've been busy the last little while! November update first.

( New York: meandering through Manhattan on a perfect fall day, foliage, serendipitous Brompton test ride, C Pam Zhang reading, finally went up the Empire State Building after 27 years?! )

( Boston: bagel delivery service, proper trains, finally getting to ride the Community Path Extension, never enough time with friends )

( Stravinsky tech week )

( Monterey: Hyoun runs, I find all the good food and the last remaining bookstore in Carmel, you all are shocked )

And amid all this sleep-deprived timezone confused chaos, I may have gotten into overenthusiastic bikesplaining mode with a friend of a friend on Facebook re bike infrastructure, and only realized after the fact that said person was somebody I'd gone out on a couple of dates with back in the day (🔒). ROFLMAO. Hyoun cracked up listening to me come to this realization in realtime. Me: "What, you'd been reading my LJ for three years by the time we got together and you knew me for years before that, you knew what you were getting into!" H, smiling fondly: "Sure did." Some things have changed, but clearly some things remain the same. :D

I *thought* this was going to cover November, but we're already past the 1500 word mark and I'm only up to November 13; Thanksgiving next time, I guess!